As Foster Dad and I went through training one of our concerns was figuring out what the child placed with us would call us. We were told that kids who were placed in homes with other kids would naturally end up calling their foster parents "mom" and "dad". To them, that's the parents' name. We don't have any kids (unfortunately our dog doesn't count). So in training they said that if the kid just points at you or never calls you anything and seem confused, you can tell them to call you by your first name.
Remember in Elementary school when you would accidently slip up and call your teacher "mom"? Well, that's happened a few times with us. Today M called me "mom". Then she asked if she could call me mom instead of my first name. I told her it was her choice and reminded her we are the mom and dad of the house. I asked her how she thought her mom would feel? Her response, "Happy that I have two moms! I'll call you mom."
I wasn't sure how to respond.
Five minutes later she said "Mom, can you help me with this?"
My heart hurt for bio mom as I wondered how she would feel if she heard. It hurt for M, who must be sooo confused. But with my new title I instantly felt older, more responsible, pressured to bake cookies and draw hearts in peanut butter sandwiches. Apart of me secretly liked that she called me mom, it meant I was doing a good job nurturing her and showing her love. In her eyes I'm not just a glorified babysitter. My new motherly thoughts, mixed with anxiousness quickly dissolved as M got my attention by yelling my first name. So much for calling me mom...
At least I no longer feel the pressure to get a mini van.
Foster Parents: We'd love to hear any stories about your titles.
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