M gravitates towards adults. Yesterday I found out she spent her recess gabbing with the Director of our preschool instead of playing tag with the other kids. It's her comfort zone, and in knowing her past situations it makes sense. She was always surrounded by adults, had a lot of "care givers" and hardly any playmates. M acts old for her age, very responsible and feels like she needs to take care of her mom. One of our goals as her foster family is to give her a childhood, let her learn how to be a kid, and just have fun!
So to do that, with the added bonus of battling her social awkwardness, I decided to find a play group via the internet... Perfect for M and I, a kid who prefers adults and a mom who is an introvert and shy-guy to new people (cue sarcasm).
Today was a big day for both of us as we headed to our first meet up at the playground. 5 moms and 8 kids were there by the time we arrived. The parents already knew one another, having a history of play dates and magical moments. M starting talking to the different moms one by one. She would tell them about her toys, preschool, Tinkerbell...all while ignoring the kids playing around her. I finally coerced her onto the one empty swing in a row of 5. It was going great. I was casually talking with the other moms as they pushed their kids, as M yelled outMy dad sleeps in my bed with me!!!
OH MY GOSH!! Our first magical moment. My brain was running wild...
The mom's were startled and looked shocked. I think they were figuring out how the heck to get out of there, secretly taking a group vote with their eyes as to who would kick us out, or wondering who this mom and daughter duo are?!
How would you respond? I LOVE all the responses below. Thanks for sharing...it reminded me about the seriousness of what she yelled, to talk with M about why she shouted it and proper etiquette at future play dates.
I know I responded horribly, because I too was shocked.
After M yelled "My dad sleeps in my bed with me!!!!!" to the whole playground...
I responded... "Ohhh her dad...ummm...she's a foster kid, so sometimes she'll say weird things."
Which is the truth, but I didn't even talk to M about why she had the urge to share her private issues with the playgroup.
I basically threw M under the bus...
I didn't know what prompted her to yell it, she told me later it was because she wanted to be their friends. Ohhh the mind of a 4 year old. I do know that M has shared a bed with her whole family because they only had a small place to live. I know she would snuggle close to her fam. at night if she was scared and felt protected. For her that was normal...and I know she misses it. She always asks us to have sleepovers, which of course we don't or can't do.
If there is a next time of random, inappropriate yelling, I'll think back to your comments and (hopefully) respond better!! Thanks for your thoughts :)
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